I still keep a hand-written tarot journal, and I still will catch one or two meditative mornings a week to immerse myself in the personal study of tarot and my own psyche, but now I'm also going to use this page to record these tarot meditations and journal entries, and I've decided to share them with you.
The most recent post will appear
at the top of this page.
Posted here on 7-10-2020
This is what journaling triplicates looks like. This represents a pleasant morning at the kitchen table with my tarot deck, a notebook and pen, and a pot of fresh coffee. If I have the time, I'll continue pulling cards in these sets of three until they stop talking to me. And just so you know, these are actual journal entries from my personal tarot journal, and they were written in August of 2011.
Since tarot is timeless, and yes, it really is, there may be some readers today who receive a profound message here for themselves.
- 1. 3/wands, Temperance, 2/wands: Someone is apparently having quite a time keeping a balance in their lives where partnerships are concerned. I feel that business/financial partnerships are highlighted, but that is not the only kind of partnership portrayed here. Get a grip, a handle, on all these connections. Sort them out, nix the ones that are not beneficial to you, and nurture the ones that you wish to keep.
- 2. 3/cups, Page/pentacles, 9/swords: You seem to be stressing over an occasion or get-together, possibly a celebration of some kind. Where is all the stress coming from? This appears to be a happy occasion, but that’s not going to be what it feels like if you don’t straighten out the issues that are making it stressful.
- 3. The Moon, 4/cups, The Chariot: Oh, boy. Someone is lying to themselves about an issue that they’d rather not acknowledge or deal with, and this is going to get them no where fast. The truth might be unpleasant to face, but isn’t living with the false impression almost worse? Buck up and get it over with. Life will feel better afterwards, really.
- 4. Ace/cups, King/wands, Knight/swords: You’re still living in the past, hanging onto the memories of a relationship that no longer exists. The future isn’t going to be much brighter when you run into this sword– brace yourself for bad news, really bad news; but as bad it is, it may not come as a surprise. I suspect that you’re expecting it. Best piece of advice to you– stop nurturing your delusions.
- 5. Judgment, Page/wands, The Lovers: You tend to judge others so harshly that it interferes with the normal flow of relationships in your life. My advice to you– lighten up. No one is perfect, including yourself, but until you realize this, you will inadvertently keep sabotaging your connections to people in your life.
- 6. 10/cups, 4/swords, Wheel of Fortune: A happy family is wonderful, until it becomes suffocating. Everyone needs a time-out once in a while, no matter how much they love each other, or how close they feel they are. The individual needs room to breathe and grow, to create and cultivate…new ideas, plans, goals, decisions. Something is coming full circle, be prepared for changes afoot.
- 7. 10/pentacles, Knight/wands, Queen/swords: There’s a woman involved in your life in some way who’s in a position of authority, and this woman has control of money/financial issues. If this is work related, and I feel it may be, your best bet would be not to tick her off. There’s a pecking order in this situation, and you’d do well to learn your place in it.
- 8. The Devil, The Hermit, The Hanged Man: Wow, this is a major pity party fed by your own demons and your dogged stubborn nature. It’s time to stop feeling sorry for yourself, get a grip on those things that have dominion over you, and grow a spine. Yes, people might feel sorry for you at the moment, but how long do you think you can keep this up?
- 9. Ace/swords, 8/pentacles, 9/wands: Someone on the job is feeling a little defensive lately. You might have reason too, you might not; but either way, allowing others to see your true feelings is not going to help your cause in this situation. Best thing to do is keep your head down, don’t confide in anyone– that’s ANYONE– at work, and keep doing your job to the best of your ability.
- 10. Ace/pentacles, King/pentacles, Strength: Someone from the grave is still trying to run the show, probably through surviving family members, legalities, and pure stubbornness that persists even in the spirit world. Grit your teeth and stand your ground. The heirs don’t have his finesse, they won’t be able to pull off half the shit this King used to get away with when he was alive.
- 11. 9/cups, 8/wands, 3/pentacles: You’re waiting for news about a job. It’s coming, and it’s coming very soon. Relax, you’ll get what you wish for…thing is, be careful what you wish for.
- 12. High Priestess, Ace/wands, The Sun: Someone is beginning a new venture, possibly business related. The thing is– listen to your gut instincts on this, including impressions of people you may be hooking up with for this venture. Whether it turns out to be a happy ending or not will depend upon how much you trust yourself and your own ability to make decisions.
- 13. 6/pentacles, Queen/pentacles, Justice: M., no, your money situation right now isn’t fair and there is no justice in it. But, big ‘but’ here, how much of this did you bring on yourself with poor decisions and an inability to curb your tendency to spend? I hate to say this, but I know you, and you’ve kind of dug your own grave when it comes to this predicament. Now you’re going to have to work to dig your way out.
- 14. 5/pentacles, 2/swords, Page/pentacles: T., you may have bit off more than you could chew financially and now it’s coming back to bite you in the ass. You’re faced with a lot of decisions because of this, and you’re going to have to sit down and come up with a game plan to keep your head above water and stay one step ahead of creditors. Times are tight– don’t beat yourself up. You couldn’t have seen this coming.
- 15. 5/wands, 7/pentacles, The Magician: There’s a bickering squabbling group out there all wrapped up in a disagreement over money, might be quite a nice little wad of money, too. Who’s going to come out ahead?…the individual who’s not afraid to wield a little power.
- 16. The Star, 10/wands, 7/cups: Yes, life is tough right now, but it doesn’t have to be. Whenever you learn to break bad patterns, both from this life and past-lives, and start making better decisions you’ll find light at the end of the tunnel– surprise, surprise.
- 17. 4/pentacles, The World, 5/cups: Your stubborn miserly attitude is going to come full circle, and you’ll regret it. The thing you find most important, that you’re working so hard to hang onto, is the very thing you’re going to drive away if you don’t straighten up and loosen up– both with your money and your emotions.
- 18. 9/pentacles, 6/wands, 7/swords: There’s a lady who feels she’s won it all, her heart’s desire. Truth is, she hasn’t won anything. The people around her are leading her on, stealing her blind, taking advantage of her in numerous ways, both financially and emotionally. Don’t be so easily played. Are you really so naïve that you have to believe everything everyone tells you? Time to grow up and take off the rose colored glasses– fast!– before you lose everything, including your dignity.
- 19. Knight/cups, The Empress, 3/swords: If you’re thinking about having an affair, think again. The swords that pierce the heart on this card can just as easily strike you. If you have this affair, you are most likely going to produce a child– are you ready for this responsibility? Are your ready to face family members with the results of your poor choices?
- 20. 5/swords, 9/cups, 4/wands: Nope, you’re not going to pull off this plan, and you might as well pack up the balloons and cancel the caterer. Something is amiss here and it has to be straightened out before the decision is made to go forward as planned, or to take a different path. Instead of a celebration on the horizon, there will be a period of deep thinking and introspection. That’s okay, this is where answers are found.
10-11-2019 ~ Deck: The After Tarot
Today's Tarot Spread:
(click on the image to make it larger)
- 1) A memory that has a pathway to an emotional blockage
Cards ~ The High Priestess, Page/swords, 10/swords
This one is easy for me... 1969, Easter Sunday, the day my uncle died in his home after a beautiful Easter dinner.
My memory... Watching through the living-room windows as the EMTs hauled his gurnie through the font yard right past the porch. He was wearing a blue and white button down short-sleeved checked shirt and was covered by a dark blue blanket. The next time I would see him, he would be in his coffin wearing a deep blue suit and a dark blue tie.
- 2) Why I have this emotional blockage
Cards ~ Page/cups (R), 10/wands (R), Justice (R)
Okay, here we go... 1) It was the most emotionally devastating and traumatic event that I had experienced in my brief 12 years. Although I didn't have a tremendously close personal relationship with this man, he was the corner stone of our immediate family dynamics, and he was incredibly solid and stable. Everything went to hell in a hand basket after he died. The dynamics changed, the security he provided disappeared... in the blink of an eye.
As a pre-pubescent child, I naturally expected the adults around me to pick up the pieces and maintain family stability and the security (both emotional and material) that I had grown up with and took for granted. It didn't work that way. Everyone's life was disrupted by the death of this man. I had not realized until then how much everyone depended upon him.
It wasn't fair... so much that transpired and manifested because of my uncle's absence. My Aunt rushed into a new relationship that proved unpopular with the family and problematic for her. My sister's life and the future she would have completely changed, and in some ways that I'm not sure would be understandable even today. But I am sure my sister didn't get to lead the life she would have, as my aunt and uncle were raising her as their own child. I'm also sure that this event was even more traumatic for her than it was for me. She was 10 years old.
- 3) How can I work to release this blockage
Cards ~ Queen/pentacles, Knight/cups, 4/pentacles
1. Learn how to create my own stability within my own world instead of depending upon someone else to provide it.
2. Learn how to fully and openly accept love and carry it to the next level, always, while at the same time bringing the stability I have created with me.
*note: I'm no psychologist, but I'm thinking that there is probably a fear of abandonment somewhere in here. (i.e., people who create a stable world around you and then disappear or who prove untrustworthy)
3. Learn to trust... another person, the universe, fate, the future, my own intuition, instincts, etc.
4. Learn how to drop a deep fear of change and the fear of financial and material instability.
5. Learn how to hang on to what's helpful and positive in my life and to let go and release what's not.
There, how did I do?
- 4) A memory I can tap into to have a positive nostalgic reflection
Cards ~ 3/wands, The Magician, 8/swords (R)
First day of school-- early 1960s, a brick one-room country schoolhouse out in the middle of nowhere on the South Dakota prairie. Wooden floors and two walls of black boards and a very young teacher who looked like she just stepped out of a Sears/Roebuck catalogue. The "library"-- a wooden bookcase with a glass front door (which I own now). Rows of wooden desks, polished and shiny and with "ink wells" on their tops! The teacher makes a robin's egg blue play-doh and watches over me as she does a history lesson with a girl who has flaxen hair and incredibly soft green eyes and a bewitching lisp.
Thursday, September 26, 2019 ~ Deck: Wild Unknown
This is the first time that I've used this deck for any type of reading. I'm finding it fascinating, with so many nuances and unique perceptions and associations that I've not seen with any other deck. It's like looking at an old card or archetype in a new way. (Of course, each deck has its own energy, and each deck will give you something different to focus on.) Anyway, I pulled Wheel of Fortune twice today, once for the daily cards I pull for The Tarot Parlour FB page, and which I posted altogether at My Blog. I'll take that as a sign and go with my first interpretation, this second draw I consider validation.
- Wheel of Fortune ~ if something has been pretty shitty, iffy, and unsatisfactory; if you've felt the dark shadow of negative energy breathing down your neck, it's going to get better. There's people and energy and spiritual stuff going on in the background that are working like cogs in a wheel to change your path, to clear the way, to straighten something out, to pave the road, to close the deal.
- Mother/pentacles ~ stay hidden, stay quiet, don't make a sound. Your adversary may be closer than you think. Invisibility might be the key to outwitting someone, procuring something, solving an issue, or eluding disaster.
- The High Priestess ~ You wield more power than you realize. Quiet fortitude and patience are going to get you the result that you want, it's just going to be a game of waiting it out. With your uncanny natural perception and clairvoyance, it's very difficult for someone to maintain a secret or promote a lie.
Sunday, May 26, 2019 ~ Deck: Sacred Circle Tarot
Tarot Spread: Mediumship Spread
- 1 ~ the person who has passed on
Abandonment/8 of cups
This is someone who left your life and inner circle before they passed, either a spouse or romantic partner, a child, or a parent. Their disassociation with you during life may not have felt to them that they were leaving anything behind, or abandoning anyone, but to family members around them, and particularly to you, this may have been exactly how you felt about their departure from your life.
- 2 ~ their life, looking back
The Green Man (coincides with The Fool in a standard deck)
Lots of foolishness, a gay naivete that accompanied youth or puberty, the teen years. It included poor choices, a long journey (figuratively), as in getting back to a point in the road or a juncture of life that was abandoned for a while. Spunk, bravado, pride, aloofness, sometimes condescension comes to mind. Also, "ulterior motives" may accompany their life experiences. I also feel that this may represent a young male, either indicating that this individual died young, or this is how they choose to represent themselves to me, as in wanting to appear as they were during a happy period in their life.
- 3 ~ a lesson they'd like to share
Regret/5 of cups
This individual expresses a lot of regret from their vantage point on the other side. This includes relationships thrown away; opportunities tossed aside; many losses experienced on a variety of levels. I feel the biggest thing that this spirit wants to share with us is not to miss out on, or lose something, that is or could be precious in our lives. Don't take anything for granted. Don't treat important things in your life frivolously.
- 4 ~ something they wish they'd paid more attention to
Success/6 of wands
This spirit wishes they'd paid more attention to meeting goals, that they would have worked harder to achieve more in their life. I believe this individual became so wrapped up in other activities or relationships that they were led off a chosen path, lured away from the direction their life was meant to go. There is also the idea of being bound against one's will from actively making decisions and implementing action during their life that would have precipitated success. He's telling us to be vigilant, don't be easily swayed by convincing people and shiny promises that will prove destructive and hollow.
- 5 ~ a message from this spirit to us
The Web/major arcana #11
Spirit is apologizing for getting himself caught up in unfavorable circumstances and decisions that affected your life. He's incredibly regretful of any pain or trauma that he may have caused during his life time to loved ones and family. This spirit realizes that there is no way to take back the experiences of his previous life and make amends to the people he touched, but he wants you to know that he is well aware of the repercussions his life had on you, and he's sorry, so very sorry. Also, he may choose to show his presence to you in the appearance of a white dog. When you see a white dog, a white dog that grabs your attention, know that this spirit is present and making a connection with you.
Below you'll find older posts
from my tarot journal.
Saturday, December 15, 2018 ~ Deck: The Moment After Tarot
It's like getting something all figured out, finally. It's all about realizing where the truth lay, and where the lies are, and the source of it all. It's all so all about coming to a point in life where you're able to be honest with yourself, brutally honest, maybe for the first time. It's about looking back and realizing the consequences of it all, or looking back relieved to have left something behind, something that wasn't bringing positive energy into your life, something that was sabotaging your efforts.
Monday, November 6th, 2017 ~ Deck: The Goddess Tarot
Triplicates ~ My Personal Meditation for Today
Glorious "Golden Time"
The Golden Hour
Tending your goods
fertility, hidden agenda, misdirection, upside down
shake out his pockets
Upside down financial message
Feet stuck in the rocks, frozen
Into a deal she can't get out of
The Lone Woman
Solitary, strong but quiet, cutting your own throat, making a point
Having to Prove a Point
Under the gun, being on the definsive
Fighting them Off
Beating the System
Learning from your past
Memories, illusions, dreams, nightmares
Skeletons in the Closet
The Quiet One
The money is grounded
"It's in good hands"
Work, Work, Work, Work
She's good at what she does
Creative Artistic Endeavors
|Click on the image to make it Bigger|
Would you like to interpret this reading? I don't care if you're a novice or a seasoned reader. Feel free to leave your own interpretation of these cards in the comment box below.
Wednesday, October 11th, 2017 ~ Deck: Pagans Way Tarot
Ace of Wands
Business is picking up! (And it most surely is!) ....but there's more to it. There's the idea of tenacity and hanging on to ideas and goals that others might view as impossible. There's the idea of stubborn energy that just won't accept "no" as an answer. There's the idea of taking risks and putting yourself out there, probably far outside your comfort zone. There's the idea of something being "too hot to handle", whatever this means to you-- is it so hot you don't want to go there, or do you have to pass through a fire storm to get to something amazing??
Also, with this card comes the idea of purging yourself from something big and awkward, something in-your-face, something that's maybe ugly and daunting...purging yourself of this "thing" that's holding you down, holding you back, creating stress and anxiety. Get rid of it, whatever IT is. Figuratively call on the energy of the element of Fire, and burn the damn thing off!
Sunday, August 6th, 2017 ~ Deck: Rider/Waite
Love is always on the way in or out of someone's life. It's a constant flow of come and go. I know, there are those "soul mate" connections that never seem to break and go on forever, and ever, and ever. But it doesn't work that way for all of us, myself included. Relationships come and they go. And the reversed nature of this card is just affirming what I already know...I'm stuck in a solitary point of time right now, and there may be good reasons for this. Perhaps I'm suppose to concentrate more on some aspect of me, my life, my family, or a project that would not get the attention it deserves if I were involved with someone. Relationships, after all, seem to swallow up your time and attention, your energy and your thoughts.
Other messages: don't let an important opportunity slip through your fingers; on the other hand, don't hold on to something that is outdated or no longer of use, it's futile and unnecessary.
Monday (Moon), July 10th, 2017 ~ Deck: Pagans Way Tarot
"Ding-dong, the witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch
Ding-dong, the wicked witch is dead..." as the lyrics to this well-known old song go. Once upon a time the Queen of Wands represented a mother-in-law; a wicked woman with a black heart, a sword for a tongue, who wielded an iron-fisted control over her grown children and their lives. She's gone. For me, she is totally removed from my world, but that is the first thing that popped into my head when I turned this card over on this day.
On further reflection, getting past an old association, this Queen is telling me that there's something in my own life, or something coming up, that I will not have total control over. At first thought, it might make me cringe, but then that little voice in my head says, "It's okay, you can handle it, whatever "it" will be". There's an eerie calmness about this card, on this day, that's usually not associated with a loss of control. (Most of us like to be in control, desire to be in control, fight to remain in control of our life and our destiny.)
There is the idea of patience and waiting, or "waiting something out"; there is the idea of lazy mid-summer days filled with heat, thunderstorms, lightening bugs, iced tea, and a doorway to memories of many a lazy summer in the past. And along with it comes the feeling of life slowing, pausing, giving a sigh. Things will resume their normal speed, at the end of this summer, says this card, to me, today.
Saturday (Saturn), May 6th, 2017 ~ Deck ~ Tarot Iluminati
Aces are doorways, magickal thresholds, the beginnings of great adventures, untold opportunities. Wands, connected to business, work, finances; but so much more...passion for what you do; a drive to succeed; personal power; ambition; goals and attainment; inner strength (that you might not have known you even have). Rhiannon's song, the words go to this card for this moment in time..."Girl, you're on Fiiirrrre!!" Yes!
Does this mean that I'm going to feel all perky and wide awake and physically or mentally ready to conquer the world 24/7?? Hell no, I'm tired most of the time. But deep down inside of me is a deep-seated satisfaction that I've arrived; that I can do what I put my mind to; that I will not only survive, I'll survive well and on my own terms.
"You go, Girl!", the universe is saying.
Wednesday (Mercury), May 10th, 2017 ~ Pagans Way Tarot
The Moon (reversed)
Oh, wow! This card is such a stickler for me, and it is so two-faced, which kind of aligns with the image I see standing on its head right now. The beauty of the goddess connection is thrown under the bus, and the card is screaming deception, dishonesty, proceed with caution. And then, in the back of my ever wandering mind, is the Big Question ~ Is it pointing out Self-Deception?...which to me is almost worse than being lied to, because if you're not being honest with yourself, it's something that's very difficult to identify or rectify.
What else is it telling me?...Scry, look beyond looking. Peer into the dark depths of the world at large, and other people's psyches nearby. Examine motives and consequences. Don't be rushed to make snap decisions, don't be rushed to put your name on a dotted line anywhere. Slow down and swim in the ethereal flow of divination, and second sight, and gut feelings.
Believe what you tell yourself, and listen to someone else with caution.
The wolves on the card are howling their forlorn lonesome call, and as haunting as it is, it's still beautiful...remember that above all else. The dark things aren't always repulsive and scary, sometimes they're just dark, just another shade of gray.
I know, I'm meandering now.
Monday (Moon), May 15, 22017 ~ Pagans Way Tarot
Do over!! The universe is giving me a second chance to do something again, only this time better. I'm so excited!! I have no idea what it could be, but the prospect of a second chance looms large on the horizon and in my world.
The idea of choices are highlighted-- this time make the right one, that little voice is whispering in my ear. What slipped through my fingers once, I may very well catch in both hands this time.
Friday (Venus), May 26th, 2017 ~ Rider/Waite Deck
Chaos reins, says this card. Life is full of people, activity, movement, schedules, choices, personalities, responsibilities, deadlines, dates to remember, things to do, places to go, work to be done...work all over, from job, to home, to personal, to career, from writing and web work, to mundane things like lawn mowing and housekeeping.
At this stage of life, I thought that things would slow down and begin to move in a timely, plodding simple fashion, but actually, the exact opposite is true. Life doesn't get slower as we get older, it winds itself up into high speed.
This card not only mirrors my life right now, it's confirming it. The five of wands says, "It's okay, hang on for a wild ride. Everything is going to work out. This is NORMAL!" (And I seem to hear a wicked cackling laugh somewhere in the background.)
Sunday (Sun), May 28th, 2017 ~ Deck: Tarot Illuminati
The idea of pinching pennies is getting old. Balancing bills and paycheck is getting tedious. I see what you're trying to tell me five of pentacles, standing on your head, kicking your feet in the air. The light in the window at the bottom of the card is telling me that very soon, it may even be in the process of happening now and I just don't know it, but very soon, there will be a light shining on something very likely to bring in extra money in a delightful and enriching way.
I may very well be standing on it, it's that close, and I just don't see it yet, or I haven't been made privy to the information.
What else are you trying to tell me? ~ Climb the stairs; bundle up; group together; "the ladder to success" (where is it, so close it's energy is tantalizing, yet always seemingly just out of my reach); I either have, or will be in the future, expected to carry someone along with me; partnerships in the golden years.